Do you choose to not act until it is urgent, painful and expensive. Why so?

By SOCH Business Mentors LLP Posted February 13, 2024 in The Leadership practice

Do you choose to not act until it is urgent, painful and expensive. Why so?

I have been noticing a pattern in thinking that affects decision making of business owners. 

A pattern that truly creates a slow roasting hell, but it charms many of them, until they bring themselves to a truth of much graver losses of life and then they look back when it’s too late.  

Unfortunately, that is a pattern of acting when the problem is urgent, painful, and becomes expensive to not solve (and super expensive in form of money to solve then initially it was). 

Are you familiar with this?  

Does this apply to you in your major decisions? Have you been unconsciously doing this? 

Does it apply to decisions that demands larger sums of investments and until the fire grows too high your head doesn’t nod in giving it a green light to proceed? Why so?  

Why you delay in major decisions that you knew you ought to make it through in good days and not wait until problem becomes urgent, painful, and cost far more expensive things than money?  

Why you create a situation that brings in you the feeling of do or die and then it gives you peace? 

Well, some select clients I held the honest conversation had revealed and made admittance to the truth. And, for this I am too grateful to them realised in an open and honest confession.
Above all – I am grateful they stopped this disservice that they used to give to them. 

The key insights I learned during the conversation which they gracefully explored and agreed are as below: 

(1) We were not taught since childhood to go for desires and problems until it is in risky zone or nearing a risk 

Reason that most of even agreed is: Having a risk gives them voice to command or demand investment of time, emotions, and mainly money from parents. From childhood the pattern was until severely and necessary don’t even think of asking the investment.  

By the time we reached adulthood, we are wired to see investments as that until there is a definite palpating pain or a significant return that is obsessively big and clear than stop in your tracks and hold it until it gets sufficiently risky. 

The risk could be of any type – risking self-esteem, risking sense of living, risking sense of self, risking social image, risking relationships, risking dream, risking quality of living, risking money! As you can see the money risk is the least important, yet it all becomes money debate

(2) We have been teaching the same thing to our own children today and that puts us in categorical risk of losing self-image and above anything it invites a major possibility of a self-conflict. 

(3) We find it easy to explain and justify any investment if it is either in name of religion or an emergency that needs real less justification.  

Thus, we avoid confrontation on the topic of living lives for creating dreams (unknown, non-guaranteed), or addressing a problem that can otherwise be easily and relatively with fun can be solved. But fun is taken as careless in our culture, Chetanbhai. Compliance and compromises are when we are praised and revered. What an irony in culture of ours.

I always suggest my esteemed clients that you only can break free yourself from the hackles and shackles that you have tied yourselves (and, perhaps, same you did to your kids too somewhere).

You can do so when you truly become growth conscious.

Growth, the full circle of growth begins from your ability to see beyond.

It begins from a deep cry in your belly for the future you absolutely want to commit creating and not assembling or worst leave on chance. 

It begins with your dream and a fanatic non-negotiable attitude to not trade your ease of today sacrificing tomorrow in it.  

Remember, when I say non-negotiable, it is not anyone outside you whom I am pointing to. I have seen how unconsciously and brutally we continually negotiate with ourselves putting our own future at risk, until it becomes too easy to justify others and even to yourselves. We dread to make that choice that will matter to us so much for the future we so wanting to create.  

Think for few breaths and let it make some change in your approach to think, do, lead from an absolute allergic standpoint towards wasting the precious and priceless time.  

One last thing that may help you:

Make that choice and don’t wait for justification of 100 ft. tall fires that all can see and make you have easy way for investment to your dreams. All courage you need will come when you make a choice. If you wait for the courage so that you can make a choice – it will bring grey hair or white until then you have carved yourselves in a nice story of self-subjugation as sacrificing for noble or greater reasons, which don’t exist anywhere in truth but only in your own head. 

Courage is in saying yes to yourself and it is an amazing service to yourself to unfold who you truly are and what you deserve.

Your life, your making.