Most family wars occur in ways that no families or loved ones should experience.
Usually, it is because of no major rife but a persisting and lurking ill beneath the surface born out of mild unfairness to a full-blown war one day.
In most cases, wealthy families have passive or active battles of power, resentment, anger, fear, and confusion in love.
There is no right, wrong, Indian or non-Indian reasons.
There are always numerous reasons behind politics in a family.
But there can only be one reason to bring permanent harmony in the family. That is, the family decides to engage in a well-designed process that helps them create a constitution.
A constitution is not one of many ways to transition from politics to harmony.
A family constitution is the only elixir and antidote to end unfairness and its fatal ills in the family.
When we meet clients, we can see beyond their charm – the great or grave pain they are living. Usually, they live from a time they forget, but they burn inside in pain and unrest. They have built habits of relief from their emotional pain, but to us, they cannot hide behind habits or charm.
It is very simple – if you are 5’8” and have 90 kilograms weight. You walk into a doctor who does not need to take tests to assert that he is going through a pulmonary strain. When he speaks, the doctor can say the impact of that on the self-esteem and self-worth of the man… he can immediately make assertive remarks that the guy is at risk!
This is visible to people like us who have worked in close relationships with families of all colours of skin and beliefs.
It is visible to us only when we care because people who depict these invisible internal pains through visible behaviours have championed hiding unless we see through genuine compassion and grace of care.
The family constitution is key.
But remember that the transition is impossible if the process isn’t designed to create an amalgamation of head, heart, and soul.
It is the process in which members will have agreements based on understanding, producing infinite acceptance. Also, that sparks empathy and happiness to belong.
The renewed sense of why we are together and who you are together in the fraternity is a key recognition you wouldn’t want to miss.
Each chapter, when executed in facilitated quorum with magnificent support prior, during and after, gives members elementary clarity of their agreement. And why is what they agree to superior and helpful to their fair value?
This assignment and attestation of fairness at each step of making the Constitution wield the power of love and understanding in an unbreakable form.
Furthermore, the maturity members gain through the 1.5 to 2 years of such a process is significantly game-changing to any family politics.
This process is such an antidote administration way that all who get administered with it win long odds and create a healthy mental and growth atmosphere for ages to come.
Finally, I would urge families not to hide behind their habits of coping and relief. Doing this empowers politics in the families pertinently and persistently.
You must see and feel the untoward. Should you keep doing so, the family’s demise is inevitable when truths are ignored. When the correct antidote is not used, you are simply delaying the inevitable, but it is bound to happen.
Decide to engage in the process that will create a constitution (the only antidote) as a result, but critically, its journey of making will save your family from writing their ill fate.