LEADING OR MANAGING

Where are your time, energy and expectations going? 

By SOCH Business Mentors LLP Posted November 30, 2023 in Insights on Leadership

Where are your time, energy and expectations going? 

Your conversation with your people holds the fingerprint of your intentions. Your intentions are fingerprints of your desire. Your desires are fingerprints of your fears or love. 

When you desire control, you are governed by fear. 


When you desire to empower people, you are governed by the meaning of love. Your conversations with yourself and others will reflect the origin of your desire. 

  • If you are good at persuading others to get the work done, then you are better suited to the management aspect. 
  • If you are good at inspiring people to find solutions to the problem at hand, then you suit the leadership aspect. 

None of them is better than each other; both are critical to get the needle moving in the direction you want. 


The question is – What do your conversations tell about you? 

Are you spending time thinking you are a leader but getting engaged like a manager? Or are you spending time thinking you are a manager but engaged like a leader? 


Why clarifying your role is important? 

Clarifying is quite critical for one reason mainly – fulfilment of expectations. You need to realise that you cannot hold intentions to control but act like you have the desire for love because your expectations come from your desires. 

If your intentions and actions are opposite, you will surely meet disappointment and total failure of results. 

Once the above is understood and taken care of, only a conscious choice can be made to advance the prowess and profoundness of your role as a leader or a manager. Both roles require you to advance in their abilities, capacities, and skills. 

The primary role of fear and love in our lives dictates our role & abilities in performing our business activities. 

Some managers have had tough childhoods or had great ones or between, and they understand that getting things done is the key, and it doesn’t matter which direction. They are the master executioners. They come from the school of thought where result matters. 

They believe that it is important to move and get moving. They intuitively outsource the burden of direction setting to someone else who could believe in finding the Where first and why it matters. 

Some leaders have had tough childhoods or had great ones or between, and they understand that getting direction is key and it matters. They are the master direction setters. 

They come from the school of thought where love matters. They believe it is critical to end up where you want to because you love that place in the future. 


There is no right or wrong; they need to work together to produce the ultimate results they want. 

The key is expecting the boundary of your beliefs and abilities. 

A leader expecting remarkable execution from himself can be meeting disappointment. He needs to be the guard to ensure that results meet the desire for love and they haven’t originated from fear. 


What do your desires hold fingerprint of? Fear or Love? 

There is always a choice, even when there appears to be no choice. 

If you have acknowledged that your desires hold fingerprints of fear from your childhood and hence your desires are provincial, you have a choice – you only must ask, if I let go of my fears, do I still choose to hold desires with fingerprints of my fears? Would I not love to have desires fulfilling my reality filled with all I ever loved (even while I have fear in my background or childhood)? 

If you believe your desires born of fears have made you naturally talented and skilled in executing, you now have a double advantage should you allow yourself to let go. Let go of this fear. 

Enough is enough – say it! 

No fear, only lead from the edge of love, and your fears have bestowed skills in you to manage execution; hence, use that to achieve what you truly love. 

When you lead from this edge of love, all you want to be, do and have will be attracted to you. The truth is – whatever you want to be, do, and have is already here – claim for it. 

Show up for yourself, and that will inspire you to win more than anybody. 

There is no bigger victory than winning for yourself. 

Begin with letting go of fear. Then, choose love to keep fear away forever. One thing I remind my leaders in coaching them is to convert this teaching into a decision when you take that acknowledgement of all of the above. Decide for yourself. And run with it. 

Like how a father would say to his child when he is escaping from some of the worst nightmares that son, you just make a promise to run away from fear and not look back for them. If you don’t look back at them, nothing will harm you. 

Keep that faith and make your reality happen. Live that leadership which makes count your execution such that you are living in the reality – truly deservedly.